Dear Diary,
According to the astrologers a new moon is in motion, signifying, in conjunction with the distant planets, an exciting transformation for myself and all Cancerians globally. I haven't seen this new moon or noticed the many gifts she and her astral friends are supposedly arising. Of course, I haven't noticed much these days, other than hotel beds, tragic carpeting, and microwaves that have been radiating the shit out of my food.
Mostly I've noticed how easily I feel myself slipping into boredom. I observe myself listening with my ears, no longer with my heart, and the point of focus is inward and shrunken. In this moment, this fleeting moment, I'm the smallest version of myself. Some potential for shifting is here I felt it but moments ago, an instant away towards breaking free of these self-imposed chains.
There is that nagging place in me, in all of us I feel, that seeks to be victimized and anxious. It's not anyone's fault, it is simply our training; take the stress of life and amplify- make it huge, make it count, make it worst than someone else's, make sure everyone hears the tone in your voice, your cry for pity.
I shut my mouth, because I don't believe a word my mind is saying. I want it to be different. I will be different and I'll pack my bags incessantly for the next few weeks, look at the floral carpeting again and again, but I will stand centered in my silent. Until something other than garbage can come out of this mouth, I will not speak. I will be truthful and will remember this eternal existence. I will live from my heart and I will sing.
I will brave the journey for this soul, banishing the thoughts that do not serve, and abandoning myself into this moment... the Master of every moment.
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