Shrinking

What happens now?
What happens to those pieces?
Of you?
And I?

I'm strong and proud
Leader of leaders
Passionately creating
Undoubtedly deserving

Forgive me?

I've suddenly lost myself
I'm soft around the edges
I've melted into adoration
I've shrunk to an unbearable size
Just small enough to be acknowledged

I'm fucked!
Suddenly I'm unrecognizable to myself
I'm unimpressed and unresolved
I'm sick of the undertones
I'm covering my underbelly

I take it back today
I am my reconciliation
I am my remedy

Birthed as Possibility

You with free flight
into the wordless.

Without form or time
the day erased.

I am your confidence
your impeccability in flesh.

I am a solemn promise
your grounded e x p a n s i o n.

Birthed as possibility
formed in relationship.

Inauthentic

they move in slowly
as if shortening the leash
thinking of something
willing to say anything
but really, saying nothing

armed with breath mints
swished in tartar
(masking the putrid subtext)
politely lifting the edges of their mouths
"lips in the upright and locked position"
courteously remaining

commonly regurgitating
purging yesterday's drama
feasting on today's melancholy
toasting tomorrow's resentment

upper middle class men
cigars in one hand
in the other boxed wine
pouring like champagne

gaggles of privileged women
comparing diamonds and furs
feasting eyes on the gold plated cutlery
never daring to eat with it

Goodnight Ruth

hundreds of white pedals
aroma of four years long past
warm memories
familiar sounds
cold circumstances
am I doing this again?
goodnight Ruth

Hello, I'm Shifting

Hello
I'm shifting

I hardly recognize my "self"

Call it creative confusion

Undermined by sleeping consciousness

Assaulted by fear
Sabotaged with thoughts

Understanding yet not trusting

Am I alone, am I fragile?
Really?
Ego, you've pushed me to the edge again

...

Call it what it is
Healthy awakening
Annoying feels more accurate
Neurotic
Growth
Experience - that sounds right!


(Whatever, I'm really pissed off)

Adventurous Soul

It's probably very quiet when the soul leaves,
discreet and uninterrupted.
Possibly laughing as it hovers
eventually realizing its formlessness.
Suddenly leaping to its new cocoon.
A new shell.
Only an adventurous soul would dare.

Some believe we shoot out like a pistol
flying beyond the stars
hastily looking for salvation.
Save me.
RSVP to the angels and saints.
Only the martyrs and good invited.
The sinners united.

The rest of us remain,
tears pouring,
imagining angels weeping.
Celebrating our disappointment,
a real tribute to nonacceptance.
Poignant vignettes of human tragedy,
of men with sweaty palms
and of wasted mascara.

Yet she lies there
no sound she makes,
color on her lips that won't wear-off
neither rubbing or staining.
In that box so confining.
Still smiling.

I know she's an adventurous soul.

It Should be Simpler Now

I threw my coins into the wishing well
and drew a pail of illusions.
I drank from it
swallowing the fairytale
painfully digesting the ever after.

It should be simpler now...

The veil has shifted, perhaps lifted
I see differently.
Adonis is a statue
an immaculate monument
beautifully consumed in fear.

It should be simpler now...

Love and chaos uncovered
revealing the nerve
exposing the innards
shaking the foundation
all seeds will grow.

It should be simpler but yet...