The Parasite (An Investigation of Jealousy)

Inside my body lives a mysterious parasite,
an uncontainable many legged creature,
multiplying most treacherously.
It is unrefined, without intelligence,
and strikes at the most inopportune of times.
Nature has cleverly placed it there,
creating its necessary balance,
exposing the rawness of humanity.

I make it sound awful, don't I?
It is at times...
I often feel victimized.

The parasite is dangerous to those who fear its potency
and mental chit chat which accompanies it.
The reality is that when the parasite grows we've been blessed-
you could even say gifted.
In actuality, we may have to explore
that it has possibly grown from dillusion.
In stillness, we must listen and watch it reproduce;
without fear, without judgement.

Let me be candid here,
as I reveal something very important.
It may even be hard for you to believe,
undoubtedly there will be questions.
I confess that until very recently,
I have not been alive.
I may have said all of the right things
and added to a list of ego-filled accomplishments,
but I have been a witness to it all.
This has annoyingly stopped me from noticing anything,
including the many faces of this parasite.

And so it grows, freely now, I can feel it,
its name I do not speak.
It is a ball of energy bubbling up in my chest,
a fire from within.
I experience it as movement,
a snake swirling from the pit of my stomach,
moving upward towards my head,
it fills me with the most irrational hysteria.

Without warning it strikes.
Oh how it strikes!
Like a drum in my center,
rattling a resonant timpani in my innards
and filling my temples.
It courses through every vein in my body.

But this is what you see;
a personable smile and soft disposition.
You'll never see how much I am struggling.