The Prayer

i'm still madly in love with you
fuck the structure of poetry
that annoying seductress
locked within the ideas
bathing in regulations

cuz christ i want
i want that taboo love from you
the one that feels illegal because it's so raw
in this moment i want to go backwards
try again

all of those things i didn't "get"
all of those increasing expectations
they matter little now
when my heart still craves you like this
and every new potential is fucked
because i compare them all to you

i know in what i trust
but right now i just want
your goofy smile
your lusting eyes
your slender body
your shaking hips
your scorpion fire
your lips
oh those lips that i loved to kiss
that beautiful open heart
oh when it shone
you filled my being with creative Life

i have the uncontrollable urge
to phone you
to weep in confession
or regression
or out of some repression

trivial thoughts
because i fear this
is one-sided
- perhaps as it always was
or is it again my story of self-pity
and deprivation

i'm in a prayer:
let this contrast into my body
let me loosen this love inside of this heart