Out of my Control

two cups of joe
where to go
with this
and that
black liner
still under
my eyes
surprise
she's a man
he's a fan
of her song
little sparrow
short and narrow

a fiery passion
feels so horny
now i write
maybe corny
i'm speechless
with remembering
the feeling
the reliving
a past lover
slightly darker
than i remembered
but it's useless
rather pointless
to follow through
cuz when i'm through
i'll be through
again... through with you

so unsatisfied
by my hands
by my touch
i look outside
for another
warmer body
anybody?
not just some body
i'd rather dream
of the past
of something crass
than to succomb
to the dumb
to the ones
who cannot speak
from the heart
or from
the centered drum
of their souls
this is so out of my control

so i must
ask again
in what do i trust?