A Hunt in Dieppe

2 am
i'm all alone
in this room
no one else
i miss my home
but by myself
i want something else

i need another
to make this happen
to feed this hunger
this human need
i want a touch
against my skin
i'm feeling numb
but not within

i've decided
begin the hunt
filtering with guts
can't be too picky
with intimate encounters
listening to intuition
knowing consecration
i won't be led astray
i need it simple
a physical experience
i trust the flow
of what needs to be

without delay
he finds his prey
"come over" i say
he says, "a half hour away"
the invitation is made
he's on his way

in the lobby
he arrives
what a surprise
different from the prize
i thought i was getting
yet now i feel obliged
to let him in
at least for wine
and see what lies
behind the shell
perhaps his soul
will trump his false guise

ten minutes pass
my body/mind shifts
i don't want this
it's not aligned
i honor this
and i remain
a mysterious presence
expanded invitation

there's something else
that needs to happen
with a listening attention
i discover the reason
why he's come
it's not the encounter
he might have thought
not what expected either

he needs an ear
someone to hear
hold the space
as he speaks
pouring inferiorities
his sufferings
his ego-filled existence

i'm not judging
he knows no different
but life is giving it to him
i'm witnessing pieces of myself
appreciation fills my body
this is an exploration
he's alive
being heard
opening

i feel blessed
hours pass
the creative flow
has sex surpassed
before the ego has a chance
i end the night
4 am
a hug goodnight
not much to say
maybe thank you's too much
so he nods ok
"goodluck" i say

back in my room
i lay in bed
smile on my face
i'm grateful for grace
the hunt in Dieppe
has me shifted again