my love questioned
the intimacy twisted
manipulated into a weapon
why have you taken from me
the honesty
my intentions
take a leap
into my heart
if pain is what you seek
oh gods
i weep
with covered wounds
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Saturday, January 5, 2008
The Break-Up (A short play)
"It's you."
"It's me."
"Yup, it is."
"What goin' on?"
"Nothing."
"Sounds like something is stirring."
"I'm always the one stirring... your turn."
"I'm good. Nothing stirs here. Making brownies."
"Convenient."
"Do my brownies make you upset?"
"Not the brownies, your lack of stirring. Maybe the brownies have occupied your thoughts more than I have."
"I'm sorry if it disappoints you. Would you rather I lie?"
"No. It's nice when reality bites me in the ass every once in a while. I thoroughly enjoy feeling second best, even more so to your brownies."
"The brownies are turning out beautifully though. Really perfect actually. (laughs) Just kidding."
"That was exactly the thing to say! See I'm always the one who stirs, looks needy. Do you know how that feels?"
"I see that."
"Not 'see', feel."
"What have I done?"
"Not a thing."
"Then what's wrong? I'd like to get to the bottom of this."
"Oh really, 'cause I've actually touched rock bottom today. It's actually quite harsh. There's a sour taste in your mouth, acid in your gut, and an array of emotional roller-coasters, and you'd like to use drugs to calm it all down, but you can't and you won't. So you remove the shards that are still in your side, pick up your stomped vital organs and begin reassembling. It's really the 'bottom' you've been searching for. You should try it."
"What the fuck? Still in the dark here. Do you mind turning the light on?"
"Get it yourself. Your the one who shut it off."
"I think we should talk later. Sounds like you're really pissed at me."
"I'm trying not to be an asshole. It's all coming out harshly though."
"I don't understand, that's all."
"There's lots going on here. But, I saw that god awful scene again. You know the one that I've played over and over in my head, in my dreams. I can't trust myself to not make up stories awake or asleep."
"Why do they make you so mad at me if they're only stories?"
"I don't know what I want."
"What do you want here, from me?"
"More."
"Please don't ask any more of me. I'm really stretched here."
"Surely you realize that you've asked ME to stretch by retaining myself, staying reserved to save you from the lies that you have spun."
"It's not easy for me either you know."
"Yes. We're doing really great at keeping this safe, aren't we?
"I'm just a man."
"You're a wimp. God help you when you're forced to break down the proverbial walls and all that's left standing is you. Naked, fragile and vulnerable."
"That's mean. It really hurts."
"It's terrible, but I made sure of it. 'An eye for an eye, a tooth for tooth', just the way you like it."
"I'm not sure who you want me to be. Is this not enough?"
"I guess I'm saying it isn't, because I'm not sure when you're ever going to think that we're good enough. Because, I know I'm good enough, and I'm proud to say that you are with me. But, I am the affair, the torrid expendable affair. You wonder why my teeth are sharp, well there it is. I am not someone you are proud of loving. I'm the secret that you keep, the poorest of insects trapped in your web."
"This is too much. You are way too much for me right now. You can't just let it be. You say 'In your own time', you say..."
"Yes, but will there ever be that time? The time when who you are becomes more important than what people think of you. In the meantime, I'm in the dark. When do I get to be a part of your story?"
"I'm not sure what to say here."
"Me neither. (long pause) This is it, isn't it?"
"For now."
"It's me."
"Yup, it is."
"What goin' on?"
"Nothing."
"Sounds like something is stirring."
"I'm always the one stirring... your turn."
"I'm good. Nothing stirs here. Making brownies."
"Convenient."
"Do my brownies make you upset?"
"Not the brownies, your lack of stirring. Maybe the brownies have occupied your thoughts more than I have."
"I'm sorry if it disappoints you. Would you rather I lie?"
"No. It's nice when reality bites me in the ass every once in a while. I thoroughly enjoy feeling second best, even more so to your brownies."
"The brownies are turning out beautifully though. Really perfect actually. (laughs) Just kidding."
"That was exactly the thing to say! See I'm always the one who stirs, looks needy. Do you know how that feels?"
"I see that."
"Not 'see', feel."
"What have I done?"
"Not a thing."
"Then what's wrong? I'd like to get to the bottom of this."
"Oh really, 'cause I've actually touched rock bottom today. It's actually quite harsh. There's a sour taste in your mouth, acid in your gut, and an array of emotional roller-coasters, and you'd like to use drugs to calm it all down, but you can't and you won't. So you remove the shards that are still in your side, pick up your stomped vital organs and begin reassembling. It's really the 'bottom' you've been searching for. You should try it."
"What the fuck? Still in the dark here. Do you mind turning the light on?"
"Get it yourself. Your the one who shut it off."
"I think we should talk later. Sounds like you're really pissed at me."
"I'm trying not to be an asshole. It's all coming out harshly though."
"I don't understand, that's all."
"There's lots going on here. But, I saw that god awful scene again. You know the one that I've played over and over in my head, in my dreams. I can't trust myself to not make up stories awake or asleep."
"Why do they make you so mad at me if they're only stories?"
"I don't know what I want."
"What do you want here, from me?"
"More."
"Please don't ask any more of me. I'm really stretched here."
"Surely you realize that you've asked ME to stretch by retaining myself, staying reserved to save you from the lies that you have spun."
"It's not easy for me either you know."
"Yes. We're doing really great at keeping this safe, aren't we?
"I'm just a man."
"You're a wimp. God help you when you're forced to break down the proverbial walls and all that's left standing is you. Naked, fragile and vulnerable."
"That's mean. It really hurts."
"It's terrible, but I made sure of it. 'An eye for an eye, a tooth for tooth', just the way you like it."
"I'm not sure who you want me to be. Is this not enough?"
"I guess I'm saying it isn't, because I'm not sure when you're ever going to think that we're good enough. Because, I know I'm good enough, and I'm proud to say that you are with me. But, I am the affair, the torrid expendable affair. You wonder why my teeth are sharp, well there it is. I am not someone you are proud of loving. I'm the secret that you keep, the poorest of insects trapped in your web."
"This is too much. You are way too much for me right now. You can't just let it be. You say 'In your own time', you say..."
"Yes, but will there ever be that time? The time when who you are becomes more important than what people think of you. In the meantime, I'm in the dark. When do I get to be a part of your story?"
"I'm not sure what to say here."
"Me neither. (long pause) This is it, isn't it?"
"For now."
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